The Messer Chronicles: This Most Guarded Secret
by Meum Cerebrum Nocet
Summary: The Marauders return to Hogwarts, but is everything okay between them? James seems more and more focused on Remus, who seems more and more distant. Sirius is worried about is brother and Peter can't seem to keep them all together. Will their friendship survive?
1. Chapter 1:Turn and Face the Strange

_**Summary:**_ _The Marauders return to Hogwarts, but is everything okay between them? James seems more and more focused on Remus, who seems more and more distant. Sirius is worried about is brother and Peter can't seem to keep them all together. Will their friendship survive?_

* * *

 **The Messer Chronicles**

 **This Most Guarded Secret**

* * *

 _When a secret is revealed, it is the fault of the man who confided it_

 _~French Proverb_

* * *

 **Chapter One**

 **Turn and Face the Strange**

* * *

 _The key to change… is to let go of fear_

 _~Rosanne Cash_

* * *

The light sound of birds chirping ad the far off sound of joyful children playing filtered through the trees that surrounded the Lupin property. The trees created a barrier around the small home so Remus could lie out on the grass and hear the entire goings on of the neighbourhood. But not be seen by anyone. It was one of the sandy haired boy's favourite ways to spend an afternoon. Sometimes he'd bring out a book and read that on the soft blanket of grass, but other times he's just lay on the grass and listen, daydreaming.

He'd dream that he was part of the joyful shouts and giggles. That he was out front with the neighbourhood children, playing their schoolyard games right along with them. It was his own form of escape from his solitary life of lying on his back grass. Even after he'd made friends with some boys from school, Remus still enjoyed his daydreams. The only difference was that he replaced the faceless neighbourhood boys and girls with the voices and visages of his friends.

'I wonder what James, Sirius, and Peter are up to?' the young boy mused. It had been a couple of weeks since he'd written to his friends or they'd written to him. He was just about to get up and grab some parchment to write some letters when his mother's sweet, smiling face appeared at the back door.

"Remus, I was going to go down to the market. Would you like to come with? Get out of the house for a little bit?" her voice was soft and almost song-like. She smiled warmly at her only son as she spoke. Remus barely missed a beat before nodding his head.

Because of Remus' problem, and the number of times its revelation, or even the potential of its revelation, had caused the family to uproot their lives, Remus had, in recent years put himself on what essentially amounted to house arrest. The young boy rarely left the house or interacted with anyone outside his parents and the letters he sent to his friends and received from them. So, Remus readily took any opportunity to leave his house, even if was only for a few minutes.

"Excellent, well go wash up and we'll head on out as soon as you're ready," his mother spoke. Remus nodded, jumping up and running inside his small house. As he ran, the sounds of the neighbourhood children playing beyond the ring of trees filtered back to him. For the briefest of seconds, before he burst through his back door, he was running right alongside those neighbourhood kids.

"Slow down there, Remus. You might break an arm or something," Remus' father called jovially from the front room. The young, sandy haired boy paused and momentarily poked his head into the room. It was a small room, crammed full with furniture books, and his father's work papers and objects, but it was probably his favourite room in the house.

His father sat in his regular chair, tapping on the wireless with his wand. The wireless was rather old and not great at consistently holding a station; often it would play static in the middle of a program. This meant that Remus' father was perpetually working on the device in an attempt to repair it.

"How's it going?" Remus asked his father, slightly apprehensively. Lyall Lupin's favourite Quidditch team, the Caerphilly Catapults, was going to be playing that night and the Lupin males had plans to curl up in the front sitting room to listen to the match. That is, if Lyall could get the wireless to work and stop cutting out.

"I think I've almost got it. Should definitely be in tip-top shape for tonight's festivities! Are you off to the shops with your mum?" Lyall didn't look up once as he spoke to his son but Remus didn't mind. He'd much rather have the wireless fixed.

"Yeah, I'm supposed to be washing up right now," Remus spoke in way of a goodbye before dashing up the stairs to his room and the small bathroom that, as an only child, he got to call his own. He quickly cleaned his hands and face, checked his clothes in the mirror to make sure they weren't dirty or stained, and then headed back downstairs.

As Remus walked through the streets of his small village with his mum, he took a sort of inventory of his life. 'All things considered, I think I've got it pretty good. My parents are loving. We have a roof over our heads and food on the table. We can spend time listening to Quidditch on the wireless and enjoying each other's company. I have good friends and am learning lots of things at school. The only thing is, well, my monthly problem…'

* * *

That summer, before his third year, Remus faced his worst experience of his monthly problem he'd ever had. It started with the lead up. If Remus hadn't known the day of his changes, hadn't meticulously tracked and recorded the phases of the moon for at least the upcoming decade, he would know it was coming because of the way he started to feel. At least a week before W-Day, Remus started feeling achy. It was a deep pain, experienced almost everywhere on his body, done to the bone kind of pain. It made him feel wrong, like his body wasn't entirely his, and that it was in the wrong form. And this pain meant that he wasn't able to sleep for very long each night, resulting in an increasingly tired and sickly appearing boy.

His parents, after nearly a decade of dealing with his W-Day transformations and the consequences of the devastating changes on his small body, knew how to deal with him. It involved a lot of avoiding their son and walking around on eggshells. It made Remus feel endlessly guilty, that his parents acted like that around him, like they were absolutely terrified to say or do anything lest it upset him.

That August, Remus was more on edge than normal. The smallest thing, his tea being too hot or too cold, could set him off. Normally, he was clam, warm and friendly. However, leading up to W-Day he was angry, prone to yelling, and quite violent.

"It's too hot to drink! What am I supposed to do with this? I can't drink this!" Remus shouted, throwing the small, delicate cup across the room. It hit the wall and shattered. Almost instantly, Remus felt guilty and tried to pick up the small pieces. Lyall Lupin, who had given his son the offending tea, quietly whispered a 'repairo'. The cup, including the pieces that Remus had picked up, jumped up, mended themselves, and came to rest gently on the cluttered coffee table.

An evansco spell vanished the spilt tea and all evidence of his outburst. That just made Remus feel even worse about it all. Unable to bare it, he ran up the stairs, closed the door of his bedroom, making sure not to slam it, and threw himself down on the bed. He'd never lashed out like that, causing actual damage and breaking one of his mother's precious teacups. It was absolutely devastating.

His father came up to his room about ten minutes later. When Lyall entered his son's room, he didn't speak a single word. He just silently padded across the small carpeted room and sat down carefully on the edge of Remus' small bed. Still without a word, Lyall began to rub comforting circles on his back. The warmth and unconditional love of the gesture made Remus begin to sob. His small, thin body shook with the outpouring of emotion; Lyall continued his small, comforting gesture.

Finally, Remus cried himself out, feeling a little better, but not 100%. Slowly, he sat up and turned to look at his father. With unfallen tears still shimmering in his eyes, he hugged his father tight and whispered a small 'I'm sorry.'

"I know it wasn't really you, but the terrible thing inside of you. Now, try and get some sleep. I have a feeling tonight is going to be rough," Lyall spoke. He then squeezed his son, kissed him gently on the forehead, and quietly left Remus alone in his bedroom.

* * *

Remus' dad was correct. That evening's transformation was the worst yet. He often didn't remember much, a combination of the pain of his body rearranging itself and the beast taking over. What he could remember from the precious evening's transformation was pain the likes of which he'd never experienced before. He also felt a strange sensation of loneliness and fear, though he couldn't identify why he was feeling them.

When he woke up the next morning, his entire body ached, almost to the point where he couldn't even breathe without it hurting. He also felt absolutely exhausted. Deciding not to fight against his aching, weak body, Remus once again allowed the numbing effects of sleep to overcome him. Most of the rest of the day, August 15, Remus was asleep in his bed, not really eating anything. It was definitely the worst W-Day and post W-Day yet.

He really hoped it wasn't a sig for how the rest of his year would go…


	2. Chapter 2: Fancy Seeing You Here

_He never knew my name_

 _He never knew my name_

 _And though I never met him_

 _I knew him all the same,_

 _and he was a friend of mine_

 _~Bob Dylan_

* * *

 **Chapter Two**

 **Fancy Seeing You Here**

* * *

The Potter house was it's normal bustling self, even though it was only home to three people and a house elf. Euphemia Potter and the Potter's house elf Strinkly were hurrying around the kitchen, preparing breakfast and lunch, and starting dinner preparations. Fleamont Potter was sitting at the family's large dinning room table, busily reading and responding to letters. It had been a fair number of years since Fleamont had worked, and yet, even after all those years, and selling his company, he still received a fair amount of mail discussing, praising, and questioning about his Skleekeazy's hair potion. Finally, the third member of the small Potter family, the thirteen-year-old James Potter, was pacing around his bedroom, ostensibly packing up for the upcoming school year. In reality, James was mostly moving his things from one pile, across the room, to a different pile.

"Almost ready, Jamie?" the voice of Fleamont sounded from the bottom of the stairs. Nearly as soon as the words reached him, James stopped what he was doing, dropped the items he had in his hands, and bounded down the stairs to his parents.

"Absolutely! Are we going by Floo or by side-along apparation?" the teen asked. His mother just smiled warmly down at her obviously excited son. She put a light hand on his shoulder.

"First, you need breakfast. You can't go anywhere on an empty stomach." Euphemia then gently guided her son from in front of the ornate fireplace into the dinning room where a large breakfast had been lovingly laid out. James really wanted to get to Diagon Alley; Sirius thought his family would also be visiting the wizarding shopping district that day, and the Nimbus Company had been promoting a brand new broom they were set to release in time for the new school year.

However, as James stood before the food-laden table and took in the sights and smells before him, his stomach rumbled, loudly. "Maybe I can have a little breakfast before we go. Since you worked so hard on it and all." James then eagerly dug in. there was always time for food in James' estimation.

* * *

"Diagon Alley!" James exclaimed clearly, tossing the green powder onto the ground. Green flames quickly engulfed him and the cozy Potter sitting room banished. He closed his eyes to prevent soot from getting inside and allowed the Floo Network to take him to his desired location. His father had Flooed into the Leaky Cauldron only a few minutes before James and he knew his mother would be following.

After only a few minutes of travel, James felt solid ground beneath his feet and heard the not-so distant sounds of a pub: Light chatter, glasses and dishware clinking, wooden chair and stool legs being drug across stone floors. Then, above all the other sounds, one began to stand out from the rest. It was louder, most likely closer to him than any of the others, but more than that, it was an extremely familiar noise. He'd probably heard it at least once a day for the past two years.

James' eyes flew open and he saw his best friend joking and laughing with his father. With a laugh, the messy haired boy hounded out of the fireplace and flung his arms around the shoulders of Sirius Black. The young male, whose hair had always been on the long side, now reached down almost past his shoulders.

"Good to see you, mate!" James spoke, patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Have a good summer so far? Mum's been on a bit of a tear, so I've been dying to get out of that stuffy house since the day I got there," Sirius spoke, though the second half was whispered into James' ear. Sirius didn't want anyone outside of his friend group to know of the terribleness that went on in the Black household.

"My summer's been pretty good. Ah look, there's Mum!" James spotted Euphemia carefully climbing out of the fireplace and was thankful for the distraction it provided. He always felt a little awkward discussing his idyllic family life when Sirius was dealing with a family who hated him. "Shall we go then?"

"Hello, Sirius darling," Euphemia spoke, smiling warmly at the boy. "Are your parents around?" she swivelled her head, as if trying to spot them, but her smile now seemed pinched and forced. While the exact nature of the horrors of the Black family may not be known, their reputation for vileness proceeded them and it was quite clear that Euphemia did not really want to meet either of them.

"No. they were too busy to come so they sent me on my own. I told them you would be coming, and they were fine with it," Sirius spoke, a dazzling smile on his face. James could see that he was hoping it would be enough to keep her from digging further.

"That's too bad," Euphemia replied, though her face didn't exactly match her words. At that, Fleamont began moving them towards the back of the Leaky Cauldron. He'd had enough of the somewhat awkward exchange and wanted to move on with the day's calendar of events. Euphemia, James, and Sirius followed his non-verbal instructions, and the quartet quickly found themselves in the busy, bustling streets of Diagon Alley.

"Mum," James asked sweetly as they made their way towards one of the shops that would have that year's needed supplies, "Sirius and I were wondering if we would be able to go have a quick look at the Quidditch supply shop? There's a new broom, supposed to be the fastest one yet, and we'd really like to check it out. We won't be too long." James the levelled his mother with his best, most forceful, puppy dog pout. Sirius did his own pout for good measure.

Euphemia Potter never stood a chance.

"I guess your father and I can handle some of this list on our own. You two boys can go and have some fun. Meet us just outside Flourish and Blotts for lunch and then we'll tackle the rest of it together.

"Your list, I'm guessing Sirius, is the same? You're taking the same electives as Jamie?" Sirius nodded at the question before the boys quickly took off, not wanting to give the older Potter's an opportunity to change their minds. Once they were a safe distance away, their excitement at seeing the new broom took over and Sirius and James continued to run almost all out until they reached Quality Quidditch Supplies.

"I win! I win!" Sirius exclaimed, dancing around a little as he did. James smiles at his friend, and then they turned and entered the store. It was busy, filled with young students excitedly shopping for the upcoming school year. A large group was gathered around something in the back-right corner of the shop. The group was loudly exclaiming and jostling around.

'This,' James thought, 'must be the display for the new broom.' He turned to Sirius catching his eye and then jerking his head in the direction of the crowd. Sirius nodded, then set his face. Getting in to see the broom would not be an easy task; it would require determination and the willingness to push and maybe even throw an elbow.

"Let's do this!" Sirius spoke before stepping towards the crowd. James copied his friend and moved right along with him. It took only a few short steps to reach the crowd. Then, the two thirteen-year-olds, by far not the biggest but definitely not the smallest, began pushing themselves through the crowd up to the front.

The broom was absolutely brilliant. It was a deep mahogany handle, molded to ensure easy, comfortable gripping but without losing any speed. The tail was neat, the bristles bunched tightly together, with not a single one out of place. A small sign espoused the specs and abilities, including a top speed of almost 20 km/h and an ease of handling that would allow the rider to perform countless consecutive barrel rolls and not lose their line of flight. As soon as James set his eyes upon it, he was in love.

"If I had this broom, Gryffindor winning the Quidditch cup would not even be a question. I would outfly every other chaser and bludgers would be going far too slow to even attempt to touch me," James mused aloud, his mouth agape.

"It's absolutely beautiful!" Sirius exclaimed, tears welling up in the corner of his eyes and his lip quivering dramatically. James almost rolled his eyes at his friend's antics, but a similar over-emotional state was consuming him and so instead he just turned and continued to stare at the Nimbus 200.

The two boys, James and Sirius, stood at the front of the large jostling crowd for another ten or fifteen minutes. They didn't speak another word to each other or anyone else; they just greedily took in the sight of the stunning broom. Finally, the pair pulled themselves away from the broom and began browsing through the rest of the store.

"Okay, five more minutes of browsing and then we need to go meet my parents for lunch," James spoke, checking his watch and a little surprised at how quickly the time was passing by. Sirius nodded, to acknowledge James' words, but didn't turn to look away from the shelf he was perusing. It held countless volumes of books allegedly holding sure-fire ways to improve one's Quidditch game.

"You going out for the team this year? I don't think there are any openings," James spoke, trying to make his voice cheerful. Sirius shook his head but didn't say anything for several long seconds.

"Not this year, but Longbottom, Hewitt, and Sweeny are all seventh years, so next year they'll be openings for a chaser, keeper and a beater. I figure if I really focus on my training this year, I should be ready to really compete for a spot next year."

A wide smile broke across James' face and, for the second time that day, James enthusiastically embraced his friend. "Let me know what I can do to help you. It will be absolutely smashing to have you on the team!"

James and Sirius left Quality Quidditch Supplies a few minutes after noon. They hurried through the busy street in the direction of the bookshop, Flourish and Blotts. The streets were definitely busier than when they'd entered the store and it took them longer than they thought to get to their destination, mostly because of the large, slowly moving crowds of people that continually got in their way.

"You're late, Jamie," Fleamont spoke when they boys finally met back up with the older Potters. Fleamont's expression and tone however, were one of mirth and joking. He wasn't angry or upset and, out of the corner of his eye, James saw Sirius visibly relax. Apparently, the long-haired boy had been worried about the consequences of their tardiness.

'Poor Sirius,' James thought as yet another site from the corner of his eye caught his attention. 'Is that Lily Evans?'

"Oi! Evans!" he called out loudly into the crowd. The red head froze, obviously recognizing James' voice, and then tried to carry on as if she hadn't actually heard anything. However, her parents stopped her and began directing the young girl towards James, Sirius, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter. James smiled at the slightly annoyed expression on the girl's face.

James had always thought Lily was pretty, with long, fiery red hair, deep soulful green eyes, and soft pixie-ish features. However, in the month and a half he hadn't seen her, Lily Evans had gone from pretty to stunning. It took him a lot of will power and self-restraint to keep his mouth closed and stop his jaw from becoming agape.

"Hello, Potter, Black," Lily spoke with her jaw clenched. Fleamont and Euphemia exchanged much warmer greetings with Lily's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Evans. The four parents then began exchanging pleasantries, allowing James, Sirius, and Lily to hold their own conversation.

"Have a good summer, Evans?" James asked.

"Yes, actually," Lily responded, a smile crossing her face as she thought of a pleasant memory. "Though, any length of time I don't have to see the two of you is always good." James felt a little stung at the comment, but carefully schooled his features to show nothing.

"I thought it was not seeing Snivellus that would have to see the two of you is always good. He still clinging to your coat tails?" James lowered his voice, so it was barely a whisper, not wanting the adults to hear his words.

"I really don't know how a great big git like you ever managed to make any friends?" Lily whispered to James and Sirius first before turning to her parents. "Mum, Dad, I'm sure the Potter's have a lot to do today; I know we sure do. We shouldn't take up any more of their time." Lily's parents obviously agreed, and the adults said their goodbyes.

As Lily walked away, James turned to Sirius and said, "Mark my words, mate. I will get a date with Lily Evans. I won't take no for an answer!"


	3. Chapter 3: Family Matters

_A tree is known by its fruit_

 _~Proverb_

* * *

 **Chapter Three**

 **Family Matters**

* * *

It had been a good day. No, scratch that, it had been ab absolutely brilliant day. It was probably the best day he'd had outside of Hogwarts. An entire day essentially devoid from the reality of what his life was during the summer. Now, he stood outside the row house that was his own personal prison, his own personal hell. It took all of his willpower to walk across the street ad up to the small, wrought iron gate.

He'd escaped from the house, number twelve Grimmauld Place, very early that morning. He'd lied when he told the Potters that his parents had let him go to Diagon Alley with the Potters. He hadn't even bothered to ask them, figuring his parents wouldn't even miss him. Sirius spent most of his days during the summer locked in his bedroom anyway.

The day in Diagon Alley had been spectacular. Seeing James, seeing the brand-new Nimbus, eating creamy ice cream from Fortescue's, and not once stepping foot in Nocturn Alley. It was the first time Sirius had gone back to school shopping without visiting the dark magic market and that was probably the part of the day that made him feel the most normal and joyful.

But now Sirius had to go home, had to return to the home base, essentially, for dark magic and prejudice. Not something Sirius was overly enthused to have to do, but he had nowhere else to go. At least, not for another two weeks.

'Two weeks,' Sirius thought to himself, 'I can survive two more weeks.' After those two weeks, he would be back at Hogwarts, back at his true home with his true family. It couldn't come fast enough.

With a resigned sigh, Sirius opened the gate, climbed the front steps, and entered the dark, deeply welcoming house. It was quiet, which Sirius did not find odd. He was often the one to cause noise, whether it was the small pranks he played in an attempt to get back at his family, or his mother yelling her disgust at him. When he was not around, the elder Black son assumed number twelve Grimmauld Place was almost eerily quiet.

Sirius didn't want to break this rare instance of peace, but it was getting late and he had yet to eat supper. Carefully, and as quietly as possible, Sirius crept through the house towards the kitchen. As he moved, he hoped ad prayed that Kreacher, the Black's horrid house elf, was not in the kitchen, but kissing his mother's feet in the sitting room or somewhere else.

Sirius was still in his Potter family bubble. They were such a happy, loving family that one couldn't help but develop a glow after only a few moments in their presence. Sirius was happy and he didn't want that to end because he had to interact with a member of his family.

Luckily, the young Black found the large, slightly unkempt kitchen empty. He could hear rustling and movement from somewhere else in the house and assumed it denoted the location of his mother and her lapdog house elf. Feeling his happy bubble was safe for the time being, Sirius began moving around the kitchen grabbing ingredients for some dinner. He'd gotten fairly food at preparing meals for himself since the concoctions Kreacher made were often inedible at best and murderous at worst.

Sirius' sense of security, bolstered by the fact that he could hear his mother, meant that he wasn't as careful about the amount of sound he was making. He clanged pots and dishes, loudly shut cupboards and drawers. Quickly, Sirius became so invested in his task at hand that he stopped focusing on the noise his mother was making and therefore didn't hear her approaching.

"What is all this racket?" Walburga Black shrieked as she rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. A horrified expression crossed her face as she took in the mess Sirius was making. "Stop it! Stop that right now! Who do you think is going to clean this mess up?"

Sirius froze at the sound of his mother's shrill voice and swore he could hear a small popping noise. Just like that his bubble burst; he was no longer happy. "Of course, I was going to clean it up. I looked to see if you'd left me anything, but I didn't find food, so I had to make some for myself." Sirius' tone was its normal, icy cool that was reserved for interactions with his family. He slowly lowered his head back down, returning his concentration to the task at hand. If his mother was going to yell at him, she could do it just as well with him cooking.

"Humph," Walburga sighed. Sirius froze, but didn't dare to look up. His mother did not sigh. What could this mean? "Well, don't expect Kreacher to clean it up. He doesn't work for you." Walburga stood still for a few more beats before she turned and marched back out of the kitchen.

"Ungrateful, no good, ingrate," Kreacher muttered as he followed his mistress out of the room. Sirius didn't see it, but he was pretty sure the house elf was glaring at him.

'Well, that was wholly unexpected,' Sirius mused. He finished off his dinner preparations in a slight daze. His mother always yelled, even when he hadn't done anything to make her angry. It seemed his mere existence was enough to set her off. Yet, she hadn't yelled just then. She hadn't been nice; her tone was almost as icy as Sirius', but she hadn't yelled.

'Mother must have been I one hell of a good mood.'

Sirius performed a spell that quickly cleaned up and washed the dishes and cast and evansco to disappear the waste. As an underaged wizard, he was technically breaking the law. However, it was nearly impossible to trace remotely who had performed a spell. Living with adult wizards meant that most assumed they were the ones responsible for any and all magic performed within the household. Sirius loved a loop hole.

Once he was sure the kitchen was as clean as he'd found it, Sirius loaded up a plate and headed for his one sanctuary in this hell hole of a house, his room. He tried to think back to that day's events, hoping it could return him to his happy bubble. He thought he was getting close, thinking about witnessing the Nimbus 200 and imaging flying around Hogwarts on it. Then, he ran into his younger brother.

Thankfully, he didn't literally run into Regulus. That most likely would have resulted in his lovingly prepared dinner being sent flying. Instead the two brothers simply encountered each other on the stairs, Regulus stopping a step above his older brother.

"You missed dinner," Regulus observed unemotionally. Unemotionally was better than their last interaction. It had been a few days ago, and it had been loud, angry, and terrible heart breaking. That fight, Sirius couldn't even remember how it had started or what it had even been about, was probably the brothers' worst one yet.

"I was busy," Sirius responded, keeping his voice modulated. He didn't want to inadvertently start a fight; he didn't have the energy for that. Regulus seemed to accept his excuse and moved off to the side to let Sirius pass. The older Black did just that and hurried up to his room. As quickly as he could, he closed the door, set his dinner down on his desk, and flopped down on his bed. He buried his head in his pillow and let out a frustrated and agonized scream.

How had he and Regulus gotten to this point? Only a year ago, they'd had a close relationship in which Regulus and Sirius had both felt extremely comfortable confiding in each other. Now, unemotional interactions were the best-case scenario. What had happened to them?

"Snivellus," Sirius seethed, answering his own question. Regulus and Sirius had always had different viewpoints and opinions. They'd disagrees and fought before, but they had always managed to get over it. No matter how terribly they fought, Sirius and Regulus always got back to being brothers.

Then, Regulus met and somewhat befriended Snape.

Ever since then, Regulus and Sirius had fought, often times worse than before, but they had never gotten back to being brothers. They hadn't resolved a fight since Snape had entered the picture. Sirius didn't know what Snape had done to so poison Regulus against him, all Sirius knew that his issues with his brother were all because of Snape.

Sirius let out another angry, frustrated yell before deciding that dwelling on it would not do him any good. Instead, he chose to focus on something happier.

He pulled himself off the bed and situated himself at his cluttered desk. After tidying up a small area, he grabbed some parchment and a quill and began composing three letters, one each to James, Remus, and Peter. Those three were his real family, not the three angry, judgemental people who lived in the house with Sirius.

'Two more weeks,' he thought, writing his letters and eating his solitary dinner. 'Two more weeks.'


	4. Chapter 4: Goodbye, Farewell

_From small beginnings come great things_

 _~Proverb_

* * *

 **Chapter Four**

 **Goodbye, Farewell**

* * *

"There are far too many poor's on your grades, Peter. Don't even get me started on your dreadful in potions. All of it is absolutely unacceptable! You aren't even passing most of your classes! I don't know why your teachers aren't more concerned! They haven't been in contact with me at all over this! Maybe I should make an appointment with Professor Dumbledore to ask him about his educators apparent lack of concern! I bet that will change things!" Peter Pettigrew Sr, Peter's rotund and increasingly red-faced father, was ranting loudly as the trio, Peter and his father and mother, made their way through the bustling crowd of King's Cross.

With each comment, an insult directed at Peter's intelligence and work ethic, Peter scrunched up his frame, so he was smaller and smaller. All he wanted was to disappear from sight. His father's loud exclamations were drawing the curious gazes of the large crowd. Soon, Peter was sure everyone would know he was lousy at school.

"Oh, darling. I don't know- "Peter's mother Eloise squeaked. She had eyes glassy from unspilled tears and was anxiously twisting a handkerchief in her hands. However, before she could finish her thought, her husband interrupted her.

"Though, I wouldn't have to take time out of my day, nor waste the time of your Headmaster, Peter, if you tried a little harder. You got an excellent in your theoretical Transfiguration final, so you clearly aren't a complete idiot. You just don't work hard enough and apply yourself. You spend far too much time messing around with those boys," he said the last two words like they left a terrible bitter taste in his mouth, "and not enough time in the library working on your studies.

"Third year is a very important year and, if you don't turn your marks around, we may need to have a serious talk about sending you to Drumstrang. They take academic achievement very seriously and have extremely effective ways of ensuring it." As Peter Sr. spoke about Drumstrang, he got a glint in his eye. Peter's father had wanted to send the younger Pettigrew to the wizarding school somewhere in Eastern Europe since Peter's first year. However, his mum hated the idea of Peter going so far away for schooling and managed to convince her husband against it.

The look in his eyes at that moment, however, made Peter feel almost positive that his father would get his way that time. Either Peter would improve his grades of he'd be set to a harsh school away from the only friends he'd ever had.

"I'll try harder," Peter spoke quietly. Unable to look his father, with an intense, judgemental look on his face, directly in the eye, Peter began scanning the crowd. His father seemed satisfied with Peter's hushed statement as the elder Pettigrew stopped talking. For the rest of the short journey, the three Pettigrew's walked in a much-desired peaceful silence. Peter continued to focus on the crowd as they went, which is how he first saw Remus Lupin and his parents emerge from the crowd.

Peter was about to rush forward and greet his friend for the first time when he was stopped by what he was witnessing. Remus and his mum and dad stood in a tight circle, completely lost to the world. His mother, similar to Peter's own, had teary eyes and a sad expression on her face. What had stopped Peter was Remus' father. Lyall, if Peter remembered his name correctly, was looking at his son with an expression of pure love and joy. Peter's father had never looked at him that way before and Peter felt jealous at the sight.

"Peter!" Remus had spotted the mousy haired boy and was making his way over to the Pettigrews, his parents following after. Peter set his face, plastered a happy grin on his face. He was happy to see his friend, the smile was genuine, it just took a little more effort than normal to express it.

"Hello, Remus! How was your summer?" Peter asked. The two boys exchanged pleasantries before a coughing sound caught Peter's attention. He turned to look behind him and saw the annoyed, expectant look on his father's face.

"Peter, where are your manners? Are you going to introduce us?" his father asked through gritted teeth. Peter Pettigrew Sr. only showed his anger at home, never in the presence of others, but that didn't mean he was an expert at controlling it.

"Right, sorry. Mum, father, this is my friend Remus and his parents," Peter spoke, his voice small and mousy. Having done his duty, the two sets of parents more formally introduced themselves.

"Well, we should be going. It's almost eleven. Wouldn't want to miss the train!" Peter spoke again. He was always worried about what his father would say to others, having experienced a fair amount of shame and embarrassment at the hands of the man. Peter found it was best to limit the amount of interacting the elder Pettigrew did.

To emphasize his point, Peter grabbed his mother's hands and pulled her to the entrance of the platform. Once there, he dropped his mother's hand and then looked around, making sure none of the muggles spotted him. Assured of this fact, he quickly passed through the barrier onto the platform, leaving his mother momentarily on the other side. Remus and his parents followed suit and Peter's mother came through last, a sad sorry expression on her face.

"Your father was worried about missing too much work. He figured we could manage on our own," his mother spoke quietly so only he could hear. Remus, however, noticed the absence and gave Peter a sympathetic look, but didn't say a word.

"Remus! Peter! There you are! It's a quarter to eleven! You're cutting it awfully close! Sirius and I were worried!" James Potter exclaimed, suddenly appearing out of the mist and crowds of people. Sirius Black followed closely behind him, chuckling at his friend's antics.

"I told James that if you two missed the train, Remus could just enchant a muggle car or motorcycle and use that to get you to school. James wasn't so sure. He said, 'that's some pretty complicated magic and a pretty far-fetched plan.' But I didn't have any doubt. I told him, 'Jamesy, this is Remy and Pete we're talking about. Remy can perform any spell he sets his mind to, while Pete's got the most creative, resourceful mind I've ever met!' Then the two of you showed up and all of our concern, worrying, and imagining were rendered moot. Now you're all caught up!" Sirius spoke, some of his words running together as he was talking relatively quickly. Peter focused in on the voice Sirius used and the somewhat strange and, at least in the case of James and Remus based on their expressions, unwelcome nicknames Sirius had given them.

"Yes. Yes. It was all quite dramatic. Now, if we don't get on the train soon, it'll leave, and we'll have to seriously consider alternate means of getting to Hogwarts. I, for one, do not want to do that. It sounds like it would be an adventure, but I would rather not jeopardize getting to Hogwarts for the sake of an adventure. At least not right now. So, shall we?" James said, his body almost twitching with nervous energy. Peter found it interesting and enduring that James, who would normally do anything for adventure, was not willing to risk Hogwarts for it. Hogwarts was more important.

James turned to bid farewell to his parents, as did Remus. Sirius stood apart from the Potters, a little awkwardly, and scuffed his shoe on the ground for something to do. Peter turned his attention away from his friends and towards his mother. Her eyes were even glassier than they had been earlier, and there were a few tear tracks running down her cheeks.

"Have a wonderful year, darling," his mother spoke, her voice hitching with emotion. Peter nodded, allowing his mother to wrap her arms around him and embrace him tightly. As he stood in his mother's loving embrace, his own arms wrapped tightly around her waist, he said a silent thank you that his father hadn't come through the barrier. He would not approve of the display of affection and would have cut it off. Peter allowed himself to revel in the moment for a few more seconds before breaking it off and boarding the Hogwarts Express.

Great adventure awaited and Peter could hardly contain his anticipation.


	5. Chapter 5: Hello, Bonjour

_It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered the room and said "Goodbye" it would confuse a lot of people_

 _~Dolph Sharp_

* * *

 **Chapter Five**

 **Hello, Bonjour**

* * *

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter walked into the Great Hall, heads held high. On the train ride there, countless people came to their compartment, the same one they'd resided I for the past two years and praised them for their prank against Snape from the end of the year before. It was still a big deal, still a major talking point for many of the older students and something that instantly peaked the attention of the new first years. It went a long way to increasing James' already impressive ego.

"Potter! Potter! Potter!" Sirius cheered in James' ear, pretending it was what the rest of the school, who were clearly whispering about the foursome, were actually talking about. James chuckled at his friend's antics and continued into the Great Hall towards their traditional spot at the Gryffindor table.

"The last thing he needs is all the encouragement. If you aren't careful, Black, you'll make Potter's head explode," Lily Evans commented, almost under her breath, as she pushed passed James and Sirius, and continued on down the Great Hall after her group of friends.

"She's definitely not your biggest fan," Remus commented as the four got to their spots, took their seats, and waited for everything to begin.

"I'll win her over, eventually," James responded, glancing down the Gryffindor table to where Lily, and the Other Gryffindor third years Marlene, Claire, Joyce, Karen, and Victoria, sat together in cheerful discussion, "in fact, I'll start working right now." James then stood from the table and moved down to sit in the empty seat beside Lily Evans. He did it only seconds before Professor Greensleigh, the Deputy Headmaster, walked into the Great Hall followed by a crowd of eager and excited first years. If he moved again now, it would look suspicious. James had secured himself a spot beside Lily for the rest of the evening.

Lily only acknowledged his presence by glaring at him before quickly turning back to her friends. James just smiled in triumph; he had a lot of time to wear her down and win her over to his side. However, all of that would have to wait because a rip in the brim of the old hat sitting in front of the head table opened and a tune, about the virtues of the school and the traits of each house, spilled forth.

James always loved the Sorting Hat's songs. The Hat always made Gryffindor sound gallant and majestic, like it was the best house at Hogwarts. It probably had something to do with the fact that the Hat once belonged to Godric Gryffindor, but James didn't care. Gryffindor was the best house. He knew it. The Hat knew it. Now, after his song, the whole school knew it. James guessed that all the first years waiting anxiously to be sorted were now hoping and praying to end up in Gryffindor.

"Good evening, one and all. To those who are in second year and above, welcome back, and to the eager first years standing here before me, welcome here. I will call each of your names one at a time to be sorted. You will place the Hat on your head and be sorted into either Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, or Slytherin. You will then join your housemates at their table.

"Abrams, Joseph," Professor Greensleigh's loud voice boomed out across the Great Hall. A strong, confident looking blonde male pushed out of the crowd of first years and strode up to the small stool and the old ratty hat.

"Psst," James sounded, trying to get Lily's attention. The confident red-head ignored him. James wasn't deterred. "Psst. Psst. Psst. Psst."

"What, James?" Lily finally turned and snapped at him. Joseph joined the Slytherin table.

"How was your summer, Evans?" James asked, putting his head on his hand and batting his eyes sweetly. Lily scoffed, rolled her eyes, and turned back to watching the sorting. James just stared at the back of her head, willing her to turn back around. It took less time than he thought it would.

"Some of us are trying to enjoy this moment. I'd like to be able to genuinely welcome and congratulate any and all new Gryffindors, not be distracted by inane, pointless questions posed by you!" Lily seethed, which was even more intimidating because of the fact she did it in a whisper. James was immensely attracted to her.

"I think finding out more about you, like how your summer went, is very important. You are important. So, I should spend some time learning about you." James leaned even closer to Lily. She clenched her fists, almost like she was preparing to hit him, but luckily, she turned around without doing anything else. James felt like he'd probably pushed her far enough and decided to let her be and take in the rest of the sorting.

* * *

Sirius used the excuse of watching Joseph Abrams take his seat amongst the Slytherin's to take a quick look at his brother. He'd spent most of his summer actively avoiding his younger brother. Now, all he wanted to know was how his brother was doing. Regulus was seated, confidently and comfortably, in the middle of the Slytherin table. He seemed happy, like he belonged there. That, more than anything, hurt Sirius. His brother didn't belong in Slytherin, across the Great Hall from him; Regulus belonged right by Sirius' side.

The messy haired boy tried to push those thoughts from his mind. They only ever made him angry and upset and the last thing he wanted to be at the moment was upset. He was back at Hogwarts, away from his terrible family, and with his friends. This was not a time when he should, or wanted to, feel anything but joy. In an attempt to aide this process, he shifted his gaze from his brother, down a few seats to where Severus Snape was sitting.

Snape was staring very intently at where James and Lily were sitting. Sirius guessed the third-year Slytherin's attention had been drawn to the pair when James had made his last-minute move. Snape's face was set, like he was trying hard to keep a lid on his emotions and not cause an embarrassing outburst. However, as Lily turned away from James and back towards the sorting, a small smile tugged at the corners of Snape's mouth. He was obviously happy that Lily had rejected James.

A flare of anger rose in Sirius and he made a movement towards his pocket and his wand. He wasn't sure what he was going to do exactly, all he knew was that he wanted revenge on the boy for enjoying James', Sirius' best friend's, pain. That would not stand.

However, before Sirius could act, a Slytherin leaned over in front of Snape, blocking Sirius' view of the boy. Momentarily hindered, Sirius felt his flash of anger dissipate. There would be plenty of time to hex and curse Snape throughout the year, and those chances would certainly be less public.

Deciding that further observations of Snape would lead to the same place as observing his brother, Sirius began searching the crowd for something else to catch his attention. He could have focused on the sorting but, seeing as he didn't know anyone in first year, that wasn't a particularly attractive option.

Finally, his attention rested on a pretty Slytherin third-year. Sirius hadn't given Moira Scott much thought since she'd refused to help him get revenge on Snape the year before, but now she provided the perfect distraction. She looked as bored as Sirius, aimlessly playing with the cutlery set that had been placed on the table in anticipation of the upcoming feast. She, like Sirius himself, wasn't paying any attention to the sorting. The long-haired boy wasn't sure why, but that commonality brought a small smile to his lips.

As Franklin McNally slowly and timidly made his way to Ravenclaw, Moira stopped playing with her cutlery. Her head snapped up, like a deer or rabbit suddenly realising there was danger around. She swivelled her head before her eyes landed on Sirius. Even though he was sitting across the Great Hall, Moira had somehow sensed his eyes on her.

Instead of being angry at him for staring at her, Moira stuck out her tongue playfully. Sirius couldn't help but chuckle and returned her action with one of his own. The pair spent the rest of the sorting playfully bantering with their faces.

* * *

Remus sat in his normal spot, beside Peter and across from the empty place that normally belonged to James. He was trying to pay attention to the sorting, watching the first years, ranging from absolutely terrified to confident, mount the small platform used for sorting and be placed in their houses. However, as hard as he tried, his mind would not, could not, stay focused.

He wasn't close to the change, W Day was almost two weeks away, and yet his skin was itching like it was much closer than that. He'd never felt this on edge, this close to transformation, with so many days still yet to go. Was it getting worse? Affecting him more and more as he got older? Would there come a time when he would feel like this, antsy and like he was only moments away from ripping out of his skin, for the rest of his life? He wasn't sure he could handle that, day after day. It was already hard enough, feeling sickly and terrible, for only a few days leading up to W Day that was normal for him up to that point. His whole life like that would be crazy making.

"Good evening! Good evening!" the voice of Professor Dumbledore boomed out over the crowd. The Sorting must have ended, and the feast was only moments away. "First years! It's an absolute honour to have you at this school. Today marks the beginning of a magical journey and, the houses you have been carefully sorted into today will be your families for the next seven years and even far beyond that. The men and women, boys and girls, that are seated around you will be your travelling companions. No matter wat the journey will give, where it will lead, what troubles and evils you may face, they will be there to prop you up and lend you a hand. You should be able to trust them implicitly, to provide you with a light whenever darkness closes in.

"Now, enough of that. Let's get on with the feast!" Dumbledore exclaimed. He raised his hands in the air and, on command, each of the five long tables were filled with delicious smelling and appetizing food. Quickly, the Great Hall was filled with the din and clatter of eating. Cutlery scrapped on dishes, against teeth, against each other. Food sloshed and was slurped.

James, given the opportunity, had moved back to his spot amongst his friends. Remus, Sirius, Peter, and now James all eagerly tucked into dinner. They all ate far more than they should have and had boisterous conversations with each other and those seated around them.

Finally, Dumbledore rose again at the end of dinner and gave his traditional speech, explaining the rules of the school, what was forbidden and off-limits. Dumbledore then joyfully dismissed the students and they nosily headed off into the school in the direction of their respective houses. A new year was beginning, filled with potential and brimming with excitement.


	6. Chapter 6: It's Good to Be Back

_What is the most precious, the most exciting smell awaiting you in the house when you return to it after a dozen years or so? The smell of roses, you think? No, moldering books_

 _~George Bernard Shaw_

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

 **It's Good to Be Back**

* * *

James Potter was excited. He couldn't quite explain it, but there was something about third year, that year, that was giving him a good feeling. The year before had been absolutely joyous, but this year would be absolutely spectacular. James was 100% sure of that, and he wasn't just going off his gut. He had undeniable proof.

First thing was the fact that people were still talking about their prank on Snivellus from the last year. It had even gotten down to some of the new first years. Countless people had come up to the quartet, thrilled to retell their experience of the prank from last year and bubbling over with questions about what their next prank would be and when it would happen.

"All in good time. A prankster never reveals his secrets. Otherwise, someone could ruin the prank," Sirius had waved off a group of over-eager first years who had approached the group at breakfast a week into the school year. As they left, Sirius rolled his eyes at his friends. He was pretending to be annoyed by the action, acting as if it was an unavoidable irritation. James knew that, in reality, Sirius loved the attention, but acting like he did could easily rub people the wrong way.

The second piece of evidence James had to prove his spectacular year theory was transfiguration class. On their first day, Professor McGonagall had explained that for their third year, they would be focusing on appearance altering spells. All year, they would be learning to change the colour of hair and size and shape of features, focusing on animals for the year in preparation for human transfiguration in the coming years.

James had been anxiously awaiting that very moment for years. Not only was human transfiguration complicated magic and this was the first step on that pathway, but appearance altering spells would be invaluable to his various pranking endeavours. Not only would it lessen the chances of them getting caught, if they didn't look like themselves, they could also get close to people who didn't trust James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. Changing one's appearance allowed one to become anyone they wanted.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so focused I class before," Remus commented as they left transfiguration after their second theoretical lecture on the basics of shifting appearance. James had been focused intently on the lecture, wanting to not miss a single word that Professor McGonagall said. If he was going to seriously consider implementing appearance transfiguration in his pranking, he needed to make sure he knew everything there was to know. There was nothing worse than being caught in a prank because your appearance shifted back from what you'd transfigured it to be.

"Trust me. Knowing this stuff will be nothing but helpful," James reassured his friends, a sly, knowing smile plastered firmly across his face.

"I do trust you on that, James. Otherwise, they wouldn't be teaching us these things," Remus responded, his expression dead panned. James knew Remus was making a joke, so the messy haired boy's smile spread wider.

"Well yes, of course that Remus, but also, think of the pranking opportunities! Disguises and potential pranks themselves! Appearance transfiguration is a gold mine! Think of all the possibilities. If I really, really understand everything about the different spells and the theory behind them I will have limitless pranking options!" James was basically dancing down the hallway as he imagined all the havoc he and the others could wreak.

"I guess, though forcing someone to transfigure against their will is almost like torture. Don't you remember first year? You and Sirius had your appearances changed by Warrington? How did that make you feel?" Remus levelled them with a patronizing look that made James feel all of two feet tall.

"Okay, we'll use it on ourselves and only those who really deserve it, like Snivellus." That seemed to satisfy Remus for the moment, though he did march through the hallway with a bit more anger and irritation than was normal.

* * *

The third reason James was sure that third year would be the best year yet was Quidditch. Frank Longbottom approached James a few days in to the year and announced that Gryffindor's first practice of the year would be the second Saturday back. There weren't any openings on the team that year, so they could get right into practice. James, despite the amount of complaining he'd done about the practices last year, had been missing playing Quidditch. The rush of the game and the total focus he experienced was addictive. He couldn't wait to get back on his broom again.

On the appointed Saturday, James woke early, completely naturally and without needing an alarm or a wakeup call. He was just so excited that he couldn't sleep any longer. However, after a quick look at Sirius, Remus, and Peter all sleeping extremely peacefully, he realised he was the only one who had that issue. As a result, James quietly tiptoed out of the dorm room and down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Also, in the Great Hall, sitting in the middle of the Gryffindor table were several other members of the Quidditch team, most likely as anxious and excited as James was. The messy haired boy hurried to join his fellow chaser Vincent Price, seeker, and sole female, Karen Wilde, and the two beaters, Michael Sweeny and Jacob Hodgins.

"How is everybody this fine morning?" James asked, sliding in next to Karen. She smiled warmly at him but kept eating and didn't answer his question.

"Good. As long as Frank doesn't put us on another crazy practice regime. Last year almost killed me," Michael Sweeny, the oldest member of the team at their little impromptu team breakfast complained. Everyone else there nodded in agreement.

"Well, either way, I'm ready for whatever Frank throws at me," Karen spoke, picking frapes off a large plate and popping them into her mouth, "I trained all summer so I'm in top form." She looked around at the boys on the team, almost daring them to prove they worked harder than she did. Female Quidditch players were rare; there was only one female professional team in England and no female players on any of the other teams. Karen had made it clear that she was going to be the first female player on Puddlemere United.

Luckily, none of the boys had to answer to Karen's challenge because only seconds after she levelled it, Frank Longbottom walked into the Great Hall. "Twenty more minutes to finish your breakfasts and then we should head out to the pitch. The earlier we get out there, the more time we'll have to practice. So, hurry up!" Frank then sat down next to Hewitt, the Keeper who had arrived only seconds before Frank, and Sweeny, his fellow seventh years.

James, suddenly very hungry and concerned he wouldn't have enough time to eat his fill, quickly began shovelling food into his mouth. Before he knew it, twenty minutes had passed and the seven members of the Gryffindor's Quidditch team quickly made their way out of the castle and onto the grounds. In only a few more moments, James would be on his broom and in the air again. It would be a rush, only topped by actually playing a game against an actual opponent.

Frank ran them through all kinds of drills. Some were designed to help them fly faster or manoeuvre quickly. They did passing drills, where the chaser had to weave through other players and shifting obstacles without loosing the quaffle. There were those where the beaters had to target various objects, both stationary and mobile. It was all very intense and tiring, and exactly what James had been looking for. He loved the rush that playing Quidditch gave him.

* * *

The final reason that James knew this year, third year, would be the best year yet was Snivellus. The greasy haired Slytherin had gone into second year with an inflated and unwarranted sense of self. Snape thought he was the big man at Hogwarts, had even had the gall to strike out at Sirius. By the end of the year, however, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter had managed to put Snape in his proper place.

Now, as third year began, James only needed to glance in Snivellus' direction to send the Slytherin skittering across the hallway. It gave James a heightened sense of his own power and opened up a lot of potential pranks at Snivellus' expense. With Snape this terrified of the four Gryffindors, there were a lot of very simple things they could do to torment him.

"Oi, Snivellus!" Sirius shouted one day as the Gryffindors and Slytherins were making their way out of potions. For a second, Snape froze before he bolted down the hallway, his robes billowing after him in a black cloud. James and Sirius burst out laughing at the over-reaction. Lily Evans, Snape's friend, didn't find it quite so funny.

"Cut it out! Leave him alone!" the girl with fiery red hair snapped at the two boys bent over with laughter. After a few seconds, the boys managed to get control of themselves and stand back up.

"I don't know what you're on about, Evans," Sirius spoke, fighting to keep chuckles out of his voice. "I was just going to ask Snape if you put the eye of newt in before you stirred it counter clockwise or after. I messed that part up in my notes and I know he's really good at potions so he would know." Sirius looked so innocent that James knew Lily couldn't help but momentarily doubt herself. However, her face quickly hardened, and she stormed off back to her group of Gryffindor friends.

"If you get a chance, can you ask Snivellus my questions, please?" Sirius called after the retreating forms of Lily and her friends, before once again dissolving into a fit of laughter and dragging James, Peter, and even Remus down with him.

It would be a good year indeed!

* * *

But there was something that was nagging James, worming its way into the back of his mind and refusing to let him be truly at ease. It was the one thing, the one stroke against James' otherwise 100% confidence in the splendidness of the year. It wasn't a big thing. In fact, it was so small that most other people probably didn't notice. Of that, James was 99% sure. It was only because they were so close, and spent so much time together, that he managed to pick up on it.

Remus, for a reason James had yet to discern, looked sickly. The sandy haired boy had been sick before, but that was always much later into the school year. It was far too soon for Remus to have caught something. Was there something else going on with the boy?

James tried to bring it up as tactfully as possible, but subtlety was not James' strong suit. "Everything okay? You look a little sick, Remus," James came right out and asked in Transfiguration about a week in to the school year.

"What?" Remus asked, coming out of his intense focused on the assignment of transfiguring a bunny's long ears to short ones. "No, I'm fine. Maybe a little tired. Still trying to get used to that new bed," Remus said half-heartedly, clearly trying to wave off James' concern.

It wasn't all that successful; James was perhaps even more concerned than before.

And how could you have an amazing year when there was something going on with your friend?


	7. Chapter 7: Transformation

_There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion._

 _~Carl Jung_

* * *

 **Chapter Seven**

 **Transformative**

* * *

It was early this year. Earlier than it normally was, or whatever passed as normal in his life. The two years previously, he'd managed to get two or three weeks in to the school year before he started feeling sickly and achy. He could get used to school and then incorporate his problem into his schedule. This year, though, he wasn't offered the same opportunity. This year he'd barely gotten a week before he'd started feeling the effects of the approaching W-Day.

The suddenness also caused an exquisite amount of stress in him. Part of Remus' success at keeping his secret, he believed, was that his friends were always otherwise occupied. He hadn't really had to work hard to hide his issues because there was schoolwork, or Quidditch, or pranking that drew James, Sirius, and Peter's attention away from Remus. However, only one week into school, Remus didn't have his usual cover. There was not long lists of school assignments and reading that needed to be completed. Frank Longbottom had scheduled Gryffindor's first practice for the second Saturday of the school year, leaving James' mind fairly Quidditch-free until then. Worst of all, the Gryffindor third-year boys were still floating on the effects of their grand prank from the year before. Therefore, they felt no need to plan anything right off the bat.

All of this combined to create three undistracted boys, who were concerned about each other's well-being, and a rapidly declining Remus. He'd have to be extremely careful to not raise suspicions or cause too many unanswerable questions being asked.

Remus sighed at that thought as he lay in bed, feeling the beginning signs of his upcoming transformation, that his skin didn't seem to fit him anywhere. It would be a long next couple of days and Remus hoped he had the strength to get through them.

"Are you going to get out of bed today, Remus?" James asked, appearing in Remus' vision and staring down at him. James looked concerned, his eyebrows knitted together and his eyes wide. He moved his hand in an odd twitching motion. It was almost, Remus mused, like James had been about to check his temperature but thought better of it.

"What time is it?" Remus asked, slightly groggy. He hadn't been laying there long, had he? Surely, he'd only opened his eye and woken up a few minutes ago.

"It's nearly 7:30. Breakfast will only be served for another twenty minutes and classes start in thirty." Sirius called helpfully from across the room. Remus bolted upright and quickly, or as quickly as one could move when one felt like they didn't belong in their own body, moved around the room getting ready. He'd been lying in bed, woe-as-me-ing for nearly forty minutes!

As he ran around, he could feel James' suspicions were already raised.

"You go on without me. I didn't want you missing breakfast because of me," Remus yelled from the bathroom as he squeezed out toothpaste onto his toothbrush. "I got distracted thinking about that tricky potion Professor Slughorn mentioned we'd be brewing today and lost track of time. I'll just catch up with you later!"

Remus hoped his cover worked, but since his friends needed his request and left, he couldn't actually judge how well it had gone over.

* * *

The rest of the day, Remus felt James' worried eyes on him. Normally, James would spend the lecture part of a class, goofing off with Sirius and Peter. They'd pass notes or whisper quietly. They'd try and perform jinxes on each other without the others or the professor noticing. Basically, James, along with Sirius and Peter, would do anything but pay attention.

When the boys acted like that, Remus could tune them out and focus in on the lecture. He would take careful, detailed notes in case the other boys needed to look on something they missed. Remus had gotten so used to his friends' goofing off that it was now like a comforting background noise. What James was doing that day though, the one day Remus had 'slept in', was beyond distracting. Throughout every lecture of the day, the sickly looking, sandy haired boy could feel James' deep, dark, almost endlessly concerned brown eyes boring into the side of his head. It was far more distracting than anything else James had ever done. Finally, about 10 minutes into Professor McGonagall's lecture on changing hair colour, Remus couldn't take any more of James' worried starring.

"I'm fine! Can you stop staring at me!" Remus snapped, though he kept his voice soft so Professor McGonagall wouldn't hear. A pained expression momentarily flittered across James' face before the other boy managed to reset it to an uncaring mask. Remus instantly felt terrible and regretted what he'd done.

He wasn't actually mad at James; in fact, he found it incredibly heartwarming that he was so obviously concerned. Remus' snapping was a result of two factors, one only tangentially connected to James. The first was the fact that Transfiguration was the Gryffindor third-years' last class of the day. Remus had spent the entire day worried about James' worry instead of focusing on schoolwork. That had never happened before; Remus placed his education above everything else because he'd so nearly not gotten to receive it. Tension had begun building in the sandy haired boy at thoughts of what he'd already missed and how he could catch up on it. The second factor was that W-Day was the next day. He was already on edge because his body was preparing for the upcoming change and the smallest thing could set him off.

"Sorry James," Remus spoke, sheepishly, "Your staring is just really distracting. I've missed half of Professor McGonagall's lecture and I know this one is really important. I don't want to miss anything and all I can think about is you staring, worried over nothing. I'm fine. I just got lost in my thoughts this morning and lost track of time. I thought I'd only been lying there for ten, fifteen minutes at the most." Remus turned to look directly in James' dark brown eyes. He hoped that he could implore James to stop staring at him through his look.

It seemed to work. James nodded, slowly and in a half-hearted way, but he did turn away from Remus. The messy haired boy looked first at Professor McGonagall standing at the front of the class, and the chalkboard full of notes beside her. He stared for maybe a minute, talking in what had already been said about changing the colour of hair, and then turned and nudged Sirius lightly in the ribs with his elbow. Sirius seemed to be waiting for that signal because he instantly engaged James in a fairly expressive conversation.

Finally, Remus felt himself relax and his attention returned to the Transfiguration lecture. He would have to be extra careful around James going forward. He couldn't afford to have his secret exposed. Not at this point. Too much was at stake.

* * *

On the night of W-Day, Remus had his excuse ready. He had to be careful that he didn't overuse an excuse; too many days in the infirmary and people would get suspicious. He also had to make sure he wouldn't get tripped up; if he said he was going to be studying in the library, but wasn't there when James, or Sirius, or Peter showed up, it could lead to too many questions. In the two years that Remus had been at Hogwarts and needing excuses, he'd felt he'd gotten pretty good at it.

That night, he planned on saying he'd forgotten something in the library. Then, if anyone got worried about his absence, he would say he ran into Dumbledore in a hallway and lost track of time talking to the Headmaster about the uses of dragon blood.

At the prearranged time, Remus put his plan into action. The four third year Gryffindors were gathered in the Gryffindor common room, spread out across several chairs and couches in front of a warm fire. It wasn't cold out yet, so the fire wasn't exactly necessary, but in the drafty large castle, it was really welcome. James and Sirius were slumped down in a plushy red couch. James' legs were over the top of the couch while his head rested on an armrest; Sirius' head was likewise resting on the opposite arm rest, but his legs were laid out on the couch towards James. Peter was curled up in an armchair off to the right of the couch; it looked like he was trying to make himself as small as possible. Remus was sprawled out on the rug in front of the couch, textbooks and parchment pieces surrounding him.

That was the setting for the beginnings of Remus' plan. He suddenly began swivelling his head around and looking under books and paper. The sickly looking, and feeling boy then began muttering to himself. "Where is it? Where did I put it? Where could it be?" he muttered.

"What's up, Remus?" James asked, shifting his body so he hung off the couch and making himself closer to Remus. This was exactly what he wanted. Part of his plan was to play into the newfound curiosity and worry James was experiencing.

"I've misplaced my potions notes from Professor Slughorn's lecture on the antidote to common poisons. I think I might have left it in the library when I was working on my essay earlier. I'll just go look and be right back." Remus called the last part over his should as he hurried out of the common room through the Fat Lady portrait hole.

* * *

James watched Remus' retreating form, a worried grimace on his face. Something, the messy haired boy thought, was definitely up; Remus was definitely up to something. He looked absolutely terrible, like he was mere moments from dropping dead. He seemed irritable and cranky; James couldn't remember a time when Remus had ever snapped at him, despite what was likely the countless times he'd deserved it. None of it added up to the way Remus normally behaved and the worst part of it all was that Remus didn't seem the least bit concerned about any of it.

"Have you guys noticed anything strange about Remus?" James asked the other two boys still in the common room. Peter looked a little stricken, like he should have been watching Remus and now James would be upset that he hadn't done his job. Sirius shrugged in a non-committal fashion.

"I noticed last year that he seemed to get sick a lot, and that he's been sick lately, but that's sort of his normal, I guess." Sirius respected. James furrowed his eyebrows a little confused by his friend's response.

"What do you mean?" James asked.

"Remus is sick, has been sick, so often that I suspected him to be sick. These past few days are sort of typical for Remus. I noticed it last year; you're just late on the uptake. I've figured, if it was anything serious, Remus would have mentioned something, shared something with us. Since he hasn't, I'm not too worried." Sirius levelled James with a look that clearly expressed the shaggy haired boy didn't want to talk about it any further. James backed down; he wouldn't talk about it anymore that night.

However, that didn't mean he would drop this subject entirely.


	8. Chapter 8: Hogsmeade

_Little town_

 _It's a quiet village_

 _Every day_

 _Like the one before_

 _~Belle, Beauty and the Beast_

* * *

 **Chapter Eight**

 **Hogsmeade**

* * *

It was a clear, warm, late September morning when James woke up, walked into the common room, and found a group of people collected in front of the Gryffindor notice board. Instantly curious, James pushed his way through the crowd to see what had grabbed everyone's attention. A wide smile crossed the mischievous, messy haired boy's face as he read the newest, most prominent notice on the board.

 _Attention all students, third year and above_

 _The first Hogsmeade weekend has been chosen_

 _For the weekend of October 6_ _th_ _and 7_ _th_

 _Make sure to check in with your head of house_

 _Before and after your visit to the village_

 _Also, please see the list of banned and_

 _prohibited items that cannot be brought_

 _back from Hogsmeade_

James turned around, looking for his friends to share the great news with them. He spotted Sirius, Peter, and Remus making their way down from the dorm rooms. An ever wider smile spread across James' face as he pushed back through the crowd and towards his friends.

"Hey! Guys! Guess what!" James called. He hurried over to the trio, who were waiting somewhat patiently for him near the portrait hole exit. "Hogsmeade weekend is next weekend! We can go to Zonko's, and Honeydukes, and the Three Broomsticks! Best start of a day yet!" James threw his head back and thrust both his fists into the air to punctuate his exclamation.

"Alright! I've been perusing the Zonko's catalogue for this very occasion. I know exactly what we'll need to get to pull off the most epic of pranks this year. The students of Hogwarts won't know what hit them now that we've got easier access to the best joking and pranking store around!" Sirius added in. the group was now moving through the halls of Hogwarts and, as they got to the grand stairway, Sirius did a strange little dance down the stairs in celebration of this news.

"My dad is always singing the praises of the sweets and treats from Honeydukes. They have the richest chocolate, the smoothest caramels, and candies that will rot your teeth through after only having a few. My mum's favourite licorice wands came from Honeydukes; I'll have to make sure to pick some up while we're there," Peter added in.

"And don't forget about the butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks!" James exclaimed as the four Gryffindors walked into the Great Hall. James couldn't help it, but he was practically vibrating with excitement. The specter of Hogsmeade, and the freedom of leaving the castle that it offered, had loomed large in the young prankster's mind. Now that it was finally happening, only a few days away, James' excitement bubbled over like a mis-brewed potion.

It was with this excited feeling coursing through his veins, that James spotted the fiery Lily Evans seated at the Gryffindor table amongst her friends. A thought, or more accurately, an uncontainable desire, popped into his mind. Hogsmeade, being the only real place to go that wasn't in Hogwarts was notorious as a dating spot. James would ask Lily to go to the small wizarding village with him. They would have a fantastic time and he and Lily would then ride happily into the sunset. It would be perfect!

"Oi, Evans!" James called across the Great Hall, slowly making his way down the Gryffindor table in the direction of Lily and her friends. Despite the volume at which James had spoken neither Lily nor her friends looked up from their conversation. James remained undeterred. "Evans! How are you?" James spoke again, closer than the first time. He got the same result, no response from the girls.

Finally, James sidled right up next to the girls. He carefully wedged his way beside Lily, earning an indignant yelp from Karen Frobisher, whom he'd had to push aside to get next to the red head. Karen muttered something under her breath, then stood and went to sit on the other side of Lily beside Claire Wilde.

"How are you lovely ladies on this fine morning?" James asked, his tone light and breezy, "Did you hear the news about Hogsmeade?" James was met with northing again. Even though James was sitting with the group, none of the six girls turned to look at him. No one acknowledged his presence or his questions. They continued their quiet conversation as if he wasn't even there, wasn't even an annoying fly buzzing around their heads.

James just continued on. Eventually, he would say something that was too much to ignore, would elicit a response from the beautiful rosette. "They announced this morning that our first trip will be this upcoming weekend! Isn't that fantastic? Hopefully, you all remembered to get your permission slips signed! It would be absolutely horrid to not get to visit this splendid village simply because you hadn't gotten permission. An absolute travesty!

"Well, I came over here this beautiful morning to do more than just inform you about the upcoming trip. The boys," here James turned and motioned to his three friends who were sitting a few feet from James, all three staring unabashedly at James and the group of girls. No one turned to look where he was pointing, "and I were talking about what we wanted to do while we were there, and I had this amazing thought. I've heard there is an absolutely darling tea ship in Hogsmeade, the perfect spot for some good tea and conversation. I thought you, Lily, would like to see it so I came over here to ask you.

"I'll meet you Saturday at 10:00 in the grounds and we can walk down toge-"James didn't get any further in his one-sided conversation. At that moment, Lily had finally turned from her friends and hit James flat in the face with a bat-bogey hex. Instantly, James' hands flew to his nose as small bats began to fly out of his nose.

"I don't know how you got such absurd ideas stuck in your gigantic head but let me be extremely clear. I will not, now or any time in the future, go anywhere with you! Especially not on a 'date' to Madame Puddifoot's. Stop asking because nothing will change my mind! Ever! Now leave us alone!" Lily punctuated her sentence by raising her wand again implying that she would gladly hex him further if the messy haired boy remained in her presence for a single second longer.

James' sense of self-preservation took over and he left Lily and her friends and returned to his own. Sirius was clearly trying to repress laughter, making his face extremely red. Peter looked horrified, most likely because he was worried for his friend. Remus, looking apologetic, raised his wand as James approached.

"Finite incantatum," the sandy haired boy spoke, ending the barrage of bats in James' nostrils. James slumped down next to Sirius but resisted the urge to bury his head in his hands. He'd just been publicly rebuked and rejected; he needed to save face; he needed to remain strong and act like he was unaffected by Lily Evans. Instead, he began filling his plate. Maybe if he was eating, he could focus on that and not on anything else. Luckily, his friends didn't press the matter and left him alone to suffer in internal silence.

* * *

James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus walked out of Hogwarts' grounds and headed towards Hogsmeade village, an electrical excitement passing between them. This was the first time they would be making this walk where the Hogwarts Express wasn't their final destination. It was a brand new adventure, and James absolutely loved adventures.

After his lack of success with Lily a few days prior, James had quickly moved on and began planning the day with his friends. He acted like he'd never planned to invite Lily to go to Hogsmeade with him, like he'd never actually invited her. Instead, James behaved as if he'd always planned to visit the small wizarding village with his friends. Lily, or Madame Puddifoot's, was not mentioned once, replaced with Zonko's ad the pranks they could pull off once they got their hands on some of the joke shop's havoc-wreaking stock.

"Okay, so, to make sure we don't run out of time, we're going to Zonko's first," Remus spoke as the four boys plodded down the pathway. He had his nose hurried in a piece of parchment and was reading from it. "Though, if we want to make all of our straps, we probably shouldn't sped more than two hours there."

"Two hours!" Sirius exclaimed, his hand dramatically fluttering to his forehead in mock horror. "How can you expect us to spend so little time in such a wonderous, fabulous store, we won't be able to do Zonko's justice in two hours!" As Sirius finished, a shit-eating grin crossed his face.

"I'm just trying to be logical," Remus responded. He didn't look up from his itinerary, so he didn't fully realise Sirius was joking. The messy haired boy could be quite the drama queen, so it was entirely possible that Sirius was, well, being serious. "If we spend too much time at Zonko's, we won't be able to visit Honeydukes, Scrivenshaft's, and the Three Broomsticks. We have to conserve our time."

James chuckled at his friends, "How about this as a compromise. We all go to Zonko's. If Sirius and I are not finished after two hours, we will stay and, you, Remus, and Peter can continue on to Honeydukes and Scrivenshaft's. Then we'll all meet up at the end of the day at the Three Broomsticks for butterbeer." The other three nodded their agreement and continued on towards Zonko's, their first destination.

When James and the others walked into the joke ship, he felt his eyes grow big. There was a small joke shop in Diagon Alley, but it was nothing compared to Zonko's. it was like comparing a small grey sparrow to the larger, mush more colourful peacock. Sure, they were both birds, but aside from that there was almost no comparison.

Every corner of Zonko's seemed to hold some mayhem creating product. Shelves lined all the walls, stretching from floor to ceiling. They were filled with colourful boxes containing fanged frisbees, and dung bombs, and other similar products. Display bins and racks filled the available floor space, leaving only small spaced for people to walk around. There were even items hanging from the ceiling. It was like prankster heaven.

"I think we're going to need a lot more than two hours, Remus," Sirius spoke, his voice contained a slight far away quality to it. He then quickly began racing around the store, examining the products and whispering to James who had hurried along after his excited friend. With every new discovery, every new item Sirius whispered to James all the different pranks they could perform and trouble they could get in to.

At the two hour mark, with James and Sirius buried up to their elbows in a bin of joke chews, Remus and Peter left the joke shop and headed on to their desired locations. James ad Sirius bid the pair farewell but, despite Remus' attempt at a guilt trip, didn't feel bad about ditching their friends. There would be other opportunities to pig out on sweets from Honeydukes and peruse the ware the other stores were hawking. However, leaving the prank store without doing a proper inventory and investigation would only put them behind. This was not a task that could be divided in two; it all needed to be done in one go so as to not miss or forget anything.

Finally, with only an hour left before they needed to be back at Hogwarts, James and Sirius exited Zonko's, laden down with several bags full of prankster products. They hurried through Hogsmeade, trying to make it to the Three Broomsticks in time to enjoy a pint of butterbeer.

"-most haunted building in England!" the voice of an excited fifth-year spoke as James and Sirius hurried passed. James wasn't sure what, in that brief snippet of information, made him stop, but he did. Sirius continued to rush for about thirty more seconds before he realised James was no longer beside him. The messy haired boy halted then turned on his heel to find James.

"What is?" James asked the two fifth-years he stood in front of. "What's the most haunted building in England?"

"The Shrieking Shack," the fifth-year responded, hitching his thumb in the direction of a path that led out of the small village. "Apparently, there are at least a hundred ghouls living there. It's pretty creepy." James felt his eyes growing bigger as he was introduced to an adventure, he had no idea eve existed.

"Cool. We'll have to check it out next time. Right now, we need to get to the Three Broomsticks. If not, Remus will send out a very embarrassing search party for us," Sirius commented, lightly grabbing James' wrist and pulling him away. James went along with his friend, excited that he had the prospect of, yet another adventure laid out before him.


End file.
